How to Name Your Transition and Change Moments

As a former CEO of a charitable company and Director of my new businesses, I have gone through a lot of major changes both professionally and personally, and all these changes have an impact on my life and career. Some of the changes have been easier to manage than others, but I have somehow managed to get through them. I would like to start by sharing my top 10 ‘transition and change moments’, then I will work on some ways in which I have dealt with them and share some practical exercises that you may find useful in your situations, helping you to stay on track to better things.

In my adult life to date, I have gone through major changes and here are my top 10:  

1.     The loss of my parents, as the youngest of 10 children this meant I had to grow up overnight from being the ‘baby’ of the family who could run to mum whenever things went wrong to having to deal with the thing on my own. I did not choose this change, and the transition was hard.

2.     Moving from my country, Zambia, leaving a good job and start from square one in England. It was a choice I made, and it was a major risk in my life going into the world unknown to me, but I am still here so it paid off in many ways.  

3.     Leaving a well-paid job and starting my own business from scratch. This change was somewhat linked to change number four above. As I was not happy in my IT career and job at the time struggling with child care and other issues. I want it all still so I had to find a way out. I then embarked on setting up a business which was about working with people, solving small problems. I was very good at conducting research and my knowledge of computers, and the internet helped me get information that people needed. I start my charitable company. The transition was difficult working long hours, going to meet up with people to convince them to buy my idea. The good thing was that now I did this in my own time, not tied to a 9 – 5 job so I could easily manoeuvre the family life and work life.

4.     Going through a bad and difficult divorce, unfortunately for me, my first marriage broke down, I was unhappy for a long time, so I decided to change that too. I filed for divorce and the transition of convincing myself it was the right thing to do, planning my life around it and getting ready for the unexpected, dealing with ensuring my children were safe, etc. It was very scary, at times I was gripped by fear, but I did it regardless… and in the end, I came through it tougher than I went it!

5.     Obtaining a Master’s degree after starting out as a teenage mum with no hope of being anything other than wife and mother (which I do not regret at all). Now for some people, this is just a natural progression in life, but if you are anything like me, this is a great achievement of which I am proud. The odds were against me in many ways when I fell pregnant at age 18 then chose to get married and have my baby instead of continuing to go to University. It was seen by many that I had wasted my life and there was nowhere I was going to go, my destiny was to just this… a wife and a mother and nothing else. Years later through hard work and determination, I changed the destiny. I gained a good level of education, and I am still going. Oh, my daughter now has a Masters in Forensic Psychology, I just and to throw that in the mix!  

6.     Selling the home, I loved. As you may be aware, when you are married, you buy property and make investments together and so on, after the divorce – I had to sell the house and move twice in a year to two different cities and two jobs. It was hard for me because I had invested a lot financially, emotionally and mentally into it as my home with my children, but the time came when the practical thing to do if I had to move forward was to sell up.

7.     And most amazingly getting married again to the man I love and having two more daughters. While going through my divorce from the first husband, I remember telling myself “that is it, it’s just my career and my children now” and then spending time being on my own, not having to share time with anyone else. Soon as I got used to that change I meet a very lovely gentleman who loves and respects me for who I am and oh when he asked proposed to marry me, it was a YES.

Wondering what all this has got to do with the context? Everything, I say. I went through all the transitions while dealing with all the day to day management of my work. I became a senior manager at a very early age, so I was learning life and leading people at the same time.  It was hard at the time; often it felt like it was never going to end, but the key point I am trying to make is that I persevered. A leader is a human being, a parent, a sister, a friend and so on; however, the world will not spare you from dealing with all other aspects of life, and your work is part of your life.

What will set up apart is how you act and think. How you deal with the fear that change brings will most definitely affect your performance at in your position at work. I went through most of these things I have listed while leading people; it did not stop me from dealing with the setting of organisational strategies and dealing with problems at work, which can at times be a hard task.

You may not have experienced the same situations as I have, all the same, my point is, and we have so much to deal with as leaders but we still have to keep our cool, and it’s our job to motivate our teams. It is easy to lose track and give up when times are hard. Some people who have known me have asked how I have managed all this without breaking down, my answer is always “I see the positive that the change will bring and not dwell on the negative” in any situation of transition and change there are pros and cons. For situations, that we can control, things would be much easier. Sometimes it is human nature to want to go for the easy option, but one thing to always remember;

“The harder option usually has the best reward, so why would you settle for less”. ~ Amina Chitembo

Reminding yourself of some of the transition moments in your past and how you dealt with them, makes the current one easier to manage. This exercise below will help you reflect on how capable you have been in the past. It will, in turn, help you deal with any future change.

Action Point 1: Name Your Transition and Change Moments.
List the top Seven major ‘Transition and Change Moments’ whether professional or personal life, that have helped shape your career.  These are situations, which have caused the most fear in you and reflect on how you have dealt with them?

 
List your “Transition and Change Moments.”

Reflect on the fears you may have felt and How you have dealt with them.
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“Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're afraid.”

~ Edward V. Rickenbacker.

Look at your list (above) and see how you have managed to deal with the change. You may have come out of some of the situations without even realising how difficult the problems were at the time. It is because you probably went into a problem-solving mode, you will realise you have the ability to deal with change you experienced in a positive way.  Provided you do not start to question yourself.  It is important in your position to have some time to reflect on the past to gain some motivation from how you have handled transition and change moments.